personality type

I spent the morning doing online research (i.e. multiple tests) to determine my personality type. Not that this is anything new for me; I go through this every so often, and have ever since high school. I've noticed a pattern, that whenever we go through a big change and the dust and the quietness settles, I feel the need to take a step back and re-evaluate myself, to find my identity. Because after every major life change, every move, every new environment in which I find myself, isn't it necessary to adapt to my new situation/surroundings and change a little bit of myself in the process? Through this thoughtful analysis (something my personality type cherishes) I realized this is a normal and necessary part of living.

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

But a new personality altogether? If you follow the link above, it describes my apparent personality (which came up the same way in several different tests today), and it says right there: an ideal career for someone like me would be a statistician, a data analyst, an office worker! Aaah, aaaah and aaaaaaaahhhh!

My personality seems to have changed drastically from a few years ago. I used to be this light, somewhat sociable idealist, ready to take on and change the world (whatever that means), and now it seems I'm nothing more than a pragmatic realist, rushing to get from place to place and check things off her list. What happened? I do find beauty and yes, actual peace in being organized – guilty – but that's always been the case to some extent. It just seems that this trait has been slowly moving itself to the forefront, along with a host of other, non-creative, non-intuitive functions.

What happened to the girl I once knew?

I guess the results of this new round of tests sort of sadden me. I don't recognize this new person. I get more accomplished now than ever before, and I have become a business person, owning my own design studio – but at what cost? And speaking of design, how does personality type figure in to my working habits? Creativity? Has my right brain, with its creativity and intuitive feeling power, just shriveled up with its (ostensible) non-use?

I've always been interested in the study of right brain/left brain function and how it relates to the field of graphic design. I personally feel that a good designer is made from a balance between the two hemispheres: the ability to think outside the box and be a creative artist (right brain), with an understanding and appreciation for order (left brain). But of course, my opinion could be tainted a bit because I've always tested straight down the middle; I'm constantly in battle between the two.

Anyway, I don't know what this says about me, except that in my quest to start thinking like a man – my secret formula for becoming a businesswoman – I may have altered myself significantly. Or perhaps this is a temporary change because moving overseas for the enth time requires vigilant organizational skills to keep the world from unraveling... I don't know. I just know that I want to get my other secret formula back – dreaming.

I'm shutting off my email

I did something appalling today. I shut down my email program.

It all started because I am perpetually running out of space on my hard disk, and until I can afford to get a bigger (yet another) external hard drive and move some things over, I am forced to operate on an as-needed basis, rather than my personal preference of having a million applications open all at once. It makes my working method of impatience more effective, if I don't have to sit and wait for Photoshop to open up every time I need it.

So I reached a point early this morning when I was unable to function due to low disk space, and there seemed to be just one thing that was eating up a massive quantity – not sure if it was email or not, but at this point it doesn't matter. As soon as I closed my Mail application, I just sat there, sort of staring at my screen with a quiet curiosity.

Oh, is this what freedom is like?

And a thought hit me. What if I... ah... left it off? I have my most important account coming through on my phone, so it's not like I'm cutting myself off cold. (Please.)

It would just give me some breathing space, so my eye isn't flickering to that screen every 30 seconds, just in case a new email came in and I didn't hear the ding or didn't see the new highlighted line come up in my peripheral vision. You know. I'm actually thinking this might be a good thing, to be unplugged from this obsession, for the sake of productivity. Perhaps?

In the meantime, I've discovered the root of my space woes, and it's not Mail, but maybe I will keep it off for a while. I think I may just survive.

What about you, dear readers? Has anyone else experienced such an epiphany, and if so, how is it going? How do you handle your stream of incoming information? Curious to hear other people's experiences.