26 January 2010

personality type

I spent the morning doing online research (i.e. multiple tests) to determine my personality type. Not that this is anything new for me; I go through this every so often, and have ever since high school. I've noticed a pattern, that whenever we go through a big change and the dust and the quietness settles, I feel the need to take a step back and re-evaluate myself, to find my identity. Because after every major life change, every move, every new environment in which I find myself, isn't it necessary to adapt to my new situation/surroundings and change a little bit of myself in the process? Through this thoughtful analysis (something my personality type cherishes) I realized this is a normal and necessary part of living.

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

But a new personality altogether? If you follow the link above, it describes my apparent personality (which came up the same way in several different tests today), and it says right there: an ideal career for someone like me would be a statistician, a data analyst, an office worker! Aaah, aaaah and aaaaaaaahhhh!

My personality seems to have changed drastically from a few years ago. I used to be this light, somewhat sociable idealist, ready to take on and change the world (whatever that means), and now it seems I'm nothing more than a pragmatic realist, rushing to get from place to place and check things off her list. What happened? I do find beauty and yes, actual peace in being organized – guilty – but that's always been the case to some extent. It just seems that this trait has been slowly moving itself to the forefront, along with a host of other, non-creative, non-intuitive functions.

What happened to the girl I once knew?

I guess the results of this new round of tests sort of sadden me. I don't recognize this new person. I get more accomplished now than ever before, and I have become a business person, owning my own design studio – but at what cost? And speaking of design, how does personality type figure in to my working habits? Creativity? Has my right brain, with its creativity and intuitive feeling power, just shriveled up with its (ostensible) non-use?

I've always been interested in the study of right brain/left brain function and how it relates to the field of graphic design. I personally feel that a good designer is made from a balance between the two hemispheres: the ability to think outside the box and be a creative artist (right brain), with an understanding and appreciation for order (left brain). But of course, my opinion could be tainted a bit because I've always tested straight down the middle; I'm constantly in battle between the two.

Anyway, I don't know what this says about me, except that in my quest to start thinking like a man – my secret formula for becoming a businesswoman – I may have altered myself significantly. Or perhaps this is a temporary change because moving overseas for the enth time requires vigilant organizational skills to keep the world from unraveling... I don't know. I just know that I want to get my other secret formula back – dreaming.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for putting into words what I believe it is a very real struggle for so many of us "creative" folks. I can completely identify with losing oneself to being efficient, practical and what society deems acceptable. Love you girl!